Aloha, Attachments

The word Aloha is precious in more ways than one. Simply, the word Aloha can mean hello, goodbye, love, and a way of life (I'll save the Aloha rabbit hole for another post).

Okay now some science, on average humans have about 60,000 thoughts a day and about 90% of them are repetitive. Do you deal with attachment to unwanted repetitive thoughts? I did. But two nights ago, I said adiós to my chains with aloha.

On Sunday night as I was meditating before bed, I got swarmed with profound insights and overwhelming feelings surrounding attachment, acceptance, and freedom. In this post, I will share these insights and how I arrived there.

Attachment

The ego feeds off of attachment and negativity. Letʻs just say that my ego had been feasting too well for far too long.

For the past several weeks (and if I am being honest, YEARS) I have been restrained by my own thoughts and feelings along with the actions and feelings of others. I have been going through the ringer mentally and emotionally. I experienced a lot of loss in the past two years. Some of these losses were extremely tragic and unexpected. I had seven of my loved ones pass away, three of which were babies. I lost relationships, finances, material items, and most of all important pieces of myself. But on the other hand, I still devoted myself to all of the projects and obligations I was committed to; never truly giving myself time to grieve or process much.

Reflecting back, I can see how these events and how I dealt with these events kept me looped in cycles. My wounds from past traumas kept reappearing, just in different circumstances. These wounds manifested into states of fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, anxiousness, rumination, anger, depression, fear, worry, resentment, need to control, doubt, and loneliness. I was subconsciously attached to all of this pain and not ready to let everything go. Without my awareness, my ego needed this rollercoaster of great highs and very depressive lows to survive. I now know that it was my brain being addicted to the catch and release cycles of the neurotransmitters oxytocin, dopamine, and cortisol.

The ability to recognize our attachments and cycles is the first step toward acceptance.

Acceptance

I am a planner at heart. I love to plan and control. But the Universe does not work like that. We create our own plans, but the Universe has different plans for us, typically bigger and greater ones. But when our plans do not follow through, can you guess who freaks out? Yup, the ego.

Some of these events were truly so difficult, some of the most heart stricken pain I have ever felt. I had every right to be angry. Some may say that I should have been angrier. But on Sunday, I realized that I deserved peace more than anything else. I no longer wanted anger and depression. I did not want to be controlled by my thoughts or emotions or the actions of others. I did not want to be attached to past mental stories.

In order to experience the true essence of liberation, I needed to accept everything as it was. I then began to reflect back on all of the times God, Higher Power (whatever term resonates with you) has saved me. Each time I found myself in a dark hole, I was always safely pulled out. Each time I had a need, my expectations were always exceeded. I basked in this circle of gratitude for quite some time. I felt myself progressively being filled with inner peace and the chains holding me down were becoming lighter.

Hola, libertad.

Release

Aloha is love and love is the language of the universe. We often place the worst judgements and critiques on ourselves. “I’m too this. I’m too that.” “Why would I say that?” “Why didn’t I do that?” “I can’t believe I am here again.” But that is not love. Part of releasing attachment, is to release it with aloha. No strings attached. No emotions. No thoughts. No opinions. Nothing but aloha.

At this point, my freedom was right around the corner cheering me on. I no longer saw the need for certain stories to be told in my head. Certain emotions did not need to be associated with certain situations. Of course, nothing went as I planned. But that is life. I told myself that I am okay with everything that happened and how it happened; because, I may not be able to see it now but everything will eventually all work out for my greatest good and highest growth.

In order to move forward, the chains of our traumas need to be left behind. We have to choose between abundance or attachments.

Freedom

At the end of the day, every experience is meant to help the soul expand. Instead of fighting the currents of life, we can choose to accept things as they are (or not, humans are going to do what they're going to do). But speaking from firsthand experience, there is nothing like ultimate freedom.

Sometimes we need to get to the point where we are sick and tired of being sick and tired. Be honest with yourself. How are you holding yourself back? Before I had these insights, I was not sick of life but I was sick of my reactions to life. Yeah, life is not easy. We are bound to get hit by things that come out of nowhere. But it is our response to these obstacles that dictate how our futures will look. I knew my potential. I could not allow myself to be stuck in a box any longer. I was done with letting my lack of awareness and others’ lack of awareness control me.

More gratitude and peace began to fill my heart space as I realized that my chains were gone. I no longer felt that tug in my heart when I thought of certain scenarios. There was just a sense of calm. And an amazing realization was that the power was within me this whole time. I just needed to be in the space of true surrender and release. I needed to desperately want it, and boy oh boy did I want to be free.

Whenever you make a decision and take a step forward, the Universe will carry you through.

Conclusion

The Universal Law of Correspondence, As Above so Below, implies that the same patterns that exist in the larger universe exist within the individual. Just how there is immense power out in the universal forces, the same power lies within us. Life is too short to not be living the life of our dreams and we are too powerful to be controlled by negative thoughts and cycles. We do not have to be attached to any pain, stories, or lies anymore. Be connected to everything and attached to nothing. Acknowledge your attachments, accept all as it is, release with aloha, and say hola to freedom. It is all okay. Life is working out as it should. Everything is as it should be. Remember, freedom and abundance are your birthright.

Mahalo for reading!