I Miss Playground Friendships

On Growing Up, Growing Apart, and Staying Open to Connection

Remember elementary school playground friendships? Five minutes after meeting someone, you were already chasing each other around the playground, sharing toys, and giving hugs as if you’d been best friends forever.

The innocence and kindness of children always fills my heart with joy. Their ability to not judge and to simply be is truly remarkable.

Unfortunately, life and friendships are not always like that.

The older we get, the more experiences we carry with us. Sometimes those experiences leave scars. And sometimes those scars make it difficult to open up to new people or deepen old friendships. As children, we assume people are safe until they prove otherwise. As adults, we often assume people are unsafe until they prove us wrong. Somewhere along the way, innocence becomes caution. We learn to protect ourselves, even when our hearts still long for connection.

Some friendships ended because of pain, jealousy, or betrayal. Sometimes people simply drift apart with or without the opportunity of reconnection, and that’s okay. There’s also the reality of discovering who you are and realizing your interests may no longer align with the people you once felt closest to.

As I reflect back on all of the wonderful friendships I have made, I can now see two specific attributes that have been there each and every time, in both me and the other person. Courage and kindness. There needs to be courage to initiate a new conversation and connection. Without courage, we may never give ourselves the opportunity to speak up or express ourselves freely. But courage alone isn’t enough. Kindness is needed to water the connection and help it grow. Kindness reminds us to be gentle and compassionate. Sometimes a simple smile, a thoughtful question, or making someone feel seen can be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. 

Over the years, I have had countless friendships and connections— all of whom I cherish and appreciate deeply.

I’ve had friends that helped me move homes, and friends that felt like home.

I’ve had friends that I celebrated with, and friends that I cried with.

There were friends that made going to school and work more enjoyable. I had friends I went to church with and friends I went to bars with.

I have friendships that have stood the test of time and distance.

Some friendships only lasted for a season or two, others have been going strong for almost 20 years.

Each friendship and connection brought a certain energy and a new level of understanding into my life. I was given certain lessons that I have the pleasure of carrying with me through life.

Whether you’re in a chapter of creating new friendships, letting go of a fading connection, or trying to revive an old one, courage and kindness can take you far. Even during seasons of solitude, those are qualities that will never fail you.

You never know who or what will join you on your journey. Kind of exciting, right? As long as you remain authentic to yourself and others, you are on the right path. Sharing kindness will always lead to something meaningful. And if you are courageous enough to face the world another day, life has a way of bringing you what aligns with your spirit.

The people who are meant for you won’t require you to become someone you’re not. They’ll appreciate the real you—the version that laughs loudly, dreams boldly, and loves deeply.

Authenticity has a way of attracting the connections that are meant to stay.

May healthy and loving connections find you when the time is right. And may you always have the courage to welcome them with kindness.